Hi there, Cam here! So nice of you to join me. Do you have your coffee ready? Or tea

Pull up a chair and have a seat with me. Let’s chat.

Welcome to ….. *drumroll please*……..The MSey Files.

For those new to the files, thank you for stopping by to view a piece…of…well, me. And for all of those that frequently visit the files….welcome back!

Life can get MSey, and having a chronic illness thrown in the mix, certainly can make things difficult. Especially when the illness is “invisible”…Multiple Sclerosis (MS) effects everyone with it, differently. It’s known as the “snowflake disease” because no two MS patients are alike.

So after some thought, below are 5 things….I wish people knew about me…and my MS:

1.) I am not drunk

Yes, I’m staggering. Yes, I’m stumbling. Yes my balance is off….but no. I am not drunk. Multiple Sclerosis causes vertigo, and lack of coordination. A lot of the times it becomes difficult for me to walk. Especially if walking for a long time, or if I’m extremely tired. Also, forget about balancing! Nearly impossible for me balance on one leg, let alone walk or even stand still with my eyes closed. I often purposely try and focus on my walking as not to seem off, and zig zagged. Especially walking with friends, or at work. But, I still bump into people because instead of going straight…my body veers to the right, or left like I lost control. It’s nearly impossible for me to walk a straight line with one foot in front of the other, so if I’m ever pulled over? Just know, a breathalyzer will have to be used instead to prove there isn’t alcohol in my system.

2.) I am not lazy

Multiple Sclerosis causes extreme fatigue. So much so, it becomes increasingly difficult to move. Fatigue is the most challenging and misunderstood MS symptom. Imagine waking up, feeling the same amount of tiredness you did going to bed? I get so tired in fact, it feels as if I have never slept a day in my life. Fatigue, isn’t your normal tiredness, it’s not the same. Fatigue, is an extreme blockage. It’s chronic and is accompanied with, what feels like, heavy weights stacked on your legs, arms, and shoulders. You mentally shutdown, you physically shut down, and seemingly no amount of sleep could cure it. Because trust me, I try and sleep….oh boy do I try and sleep. The gym, or anything physical scares me with the little energy I do have. There’s no warning to when the switch happens.

3.) I have to say no, sometimes

This is the hardest one for me. I’m young, and ready to do so many things….however, I have to say no sometimes….lately a lot of times. I’d love to hang out, go to parties, see my friends, travel home to see my family, stay up all night..back to back. I would love to have a planner filled to the brink with activities! But, sometimes….I have to say no. No because…I count my energy costs just like I would my budget for the month. No, because a part of my body has become numb, no because I’m so tired at the moment I can no longer speak, let alone party. No, because often the world is too loud and bright for me to function and brain fog sets in. No, because I have Multiple Sclerosis.

And this part my friends….is the hardest.

4.) I have rainy days

I try my very best, to stay upbeat and optimistic. But, let’s be honest, somedays…you have to try a little harder to see the sun. Especially when you are surviving an illness. MS symptoms happen suddenly, and unexpectedly. There are good days, and there are bad days. MS attacks the body from the inside out making it impossible for people to see what is happening. There isn’t a fever, a broken leg…or any physical sign of sickness..MS is silent. And when my silent disease begins to scream inside my body, I retreat to a corner to recharge…and pray for sun as the rain beats down like a typhoon.

So, I’ve listed 4 things about me and my MS….the next and final one my friends? Is the most important piece of them all….

5.) MS doesn’t define me.

I am more than MS. It is simply a bully I beat every morning when I rise out of bed. The mountain I command to move with my….mustard seed of faith. Although there is no cure…I am more than confident in my God’s ability to be stronger than my weakness. Don’t overemphasize MS when interacting with me. I am strong.

You are strong.

Our God is greater than….and although we have this, it doesn’t have us.

You.Are.More.Than.

Whatever your mountain and the issues it may bring, God has given us the power to command it to move!

Keep moving forward, and stay fighting my friends.

“….for verily I say unto you, If ye  have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” – Matthew 17:20