The Lord said, He will never leave you…nor forsake you.

You. Are. Not. Alone.

Hi there, Cam here! So nice of you to join me. Do you have your coffee ready? ….. or tea (I know, I know)

Well, pull up a chair and have a seat with me. Let’s chat.

For those new to the blog I’d like to welcome you to The MSey Files and with that huge welcome of course comes the hugest monster Cam hug…come here, come on … take all this love.

And of course, to all of those veterans …Welcome back!!! (You get huge hugs too!)

This is a place of love, understanding and truth. Life can get MSey and for so long, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) I’ve kept my story quiet…what stopped me you ask? Well, fear of course. The fear of being looked at as weak. The fear of not knowing…

I met a woman this week. She was seated in a wheelchair and as always, I sparked up friendly conversation. You know that lesson on not talking to strangers? Well, I failed it growing up. I can always be found somewhere speaking to others as if we’ve known each other all of our lives. The world needs more of that..that light, that togetherness. After niceties, she mentioned to me that she has MS and the wheelchair has become her place of residence because of it. I told her, I did too. And shared the good news of Christ. I believed for her…she’ll walk again.

And as I watched her wheel away, I felt myself breaking down.

And that my friends, was my week. Like completely … tears daily, and despite my plastered smile, and ability to make those around me feel light, mine was dimmed. Dimmed by the thoughts of the places MS has taken me, already, since my 2014 diagnosis. Dimmed by the possibilities of my life resembling hers..you see, the Bible states that the day, is what the Lord makes, and as such our responsibility is to choose gladness within it…yet, still..I broke down, and refused to see the gladness within the days.

The week, after I launch my blog to tell the world just how much you can survive no matter how MSey life could get? My immediate days thereafter turned more MSey than truthfully, it’s been in a while. Clear evidence that when you are on the path of doing what the Lord instructed, the enemy…will try at all costs to bring you back to a time that no longer exists. Bring you back to a time passed, because all he knows IS our past. But God.  And, what I realized all the more this week?

Our future is in the hands of a God, so powerful.

Our God, Powerful.

And that power is the very wind blowing strong and loud, well over the noise of silence in those ‘down’ times, can you feel it? God’s arms wrapped around you?  Reassuring that..you are not alone. Especially in this.

I felt it, my vision was going, my walking became staggered, I felt like I have never slept in all of my 27 years..and the worst symptom for me…was that I felt like I was losing me. Cognitively, I was mute. It seemed like the world around me was spinning as I sat still. And I felt alone in the brokenness.

You see my friends, God promises to never leave us nor forsake us…more than that, he gives us physical manifestations of his presence through the hands and feet of those placed around us. However, for me…for years I felt the hardest thing about being sick, was being strong for those around me. Pretending, would take whatever strength was left and although I knew God was there….I refused to accept those He’d given me.

So Yes, I, Camisha Farquharson broke down this week, but what was different about it all? For the first time….I opened up to those around me and whispered..I need help.

And, that was ok.

What I realized this week, was that it was ok…for Camisha, to not be ok. And if you are not ok, it doesn’t take away from your strength, or make you helpless.

For those newly diagnosed or, veterans…even if you don’t presently know what that ‘help’  means, or should look like…that’s ok too. I still don’t.

We know that this illness effects everyone differently, and rears its head at random times. I want to encourage you, by reminding you that God is not a man that he should lie…you are still you, in times you feel less than.

My friends, in knowing and accepting the Lord and those He has placed amongst you…makes you then wise…makes you strong….it makes you, courageous.

Stay fighting, you.are.not.alone.

We, are not alone.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. – Deuteronomy 31:6